The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
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Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
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She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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