Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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