dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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