we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
