So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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