I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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