literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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