is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
