should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
