Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
