Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
