I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
