too bad you live with your parents still
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
