Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
