Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
