She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
