We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
