I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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