so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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