you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
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