I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
