i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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