he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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