He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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