so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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