Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
