You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
