its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
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No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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