if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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