I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize