***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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