Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
