I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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