Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
