So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
