Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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