Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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