My hair reeks of homosexuality.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
