im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
