this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
