Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
