Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
