Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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