So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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