Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
