Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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