fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
