She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Randomize
