i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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