Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
