He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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