clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
