R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
