can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
