Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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