If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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