Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
