We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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