Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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