So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
