so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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