He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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