and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and she was petting her beer can
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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