maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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