she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
