her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
