this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
