i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
