you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
