Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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