That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
