if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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